To the one who stayed, and now must return, dear friend, dear self, You didn’t want to stay. Everything within you was ready to go. You were ready. Everything but your bags was packed: your heart, your calling, your identity—stowed away in the treasure boxes you found them in at first. Reburied like sand shuffled […]
Memories {link-up at velvet ashes: the grove}
What echoes have you heard in the silence? This is the question the Velvet Ashes’ Grove’s blog post begins with this week: pretty words dancing over a picture, to invite me into a still space, a sweet space with God again, like I had this weekend during a day-long retreat. But I find myself resisting; I […]
Lent is: living.
I woke up while it was still dark this morning, my body refusing to return to sleep, twisting, turning from one side to the other, pulsing with pain. So through my restless, blinking, squinting eyes, I watched the sunrise. I watched Easter slowly dawn. I remembered the darkness of the night, the empty grave that […]
Lent is: failing.
It’s Holy Saturday. I’m keeping my room dark, my curtains drawn, this morning. To remember the darkness, the darkness of this day so long ago. All hope seemed lost. All hearts withdrawn. Words spoken so long ago—burned onto our hearts—seem silent now, gone with the one we buried. Even the miraculous of yesterday—the torn curtain, […]
Lent is: hoping.
How do you stay hopeful? a friend asked me this week. The question caught me off guard at first, wondering if I truly was hoping through a rough week of pain and restlessness. So I was as honest as I could be with her: It’s been hard. So hard. I think I’ve mostly tried to […]
Lent is: admitting need.
Oh how I need you to refresh me: body-soul-spirit. Apart from you I’m nothing: a disciple-discontent. Sad and downcast Slow to learn: slower still to act. Oh how I need you to just be here: with me. It’s 11 AM and I’m back in bed, exhausted, restless, and hurting. My body is burnt out, and […]