You see, and most of you probably know, that recent I have gone through a massive (let’s repeat that with drama: MASSIVE) change of plans. I’m not at MC. Instead, I’ve been sick for almost a month and have been in the hospital for 5 days. Instead of starting classes, I have been a type of guinea pig full of unknown issues. Thanks to a CT scan & scope, we should have results by Tuesday to the multitude of tests that all my doctors have been running on me and continue to run. You may be wondering what the problem is. First of all, right now we’re not really sure. There are some guesses that the doctors are making, but I read the other day that we don’t need to highlight our problems, we need to highlight the solution. And the solution to all of this is not a diagnosis or further medicines or anything: the solution is Jesus. Period.
That was my absolute favorite thing about watching Passion this year. I didn’t get to go (sick/was supposed to be in Israel [good thing that didn’t happen]), but I watched all the sessions online. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, look it up. Anyway, the absolute greatest thing about this year specifically (I’ve gone for two years prior to now) was that the main focus was Jesus, period. It wasn’t just like yeah, it’s about Him, it was said over and over and over again to just lift Jesus high. And it happened. I cannot wait for the CD to come out sometime April/March.
But I say that because that is supposed to be the theme for our lives as well. Nothing is as important as having a relationship with Him and with growing that relationship by spending daily time with Him in prayer and in His Word and just in His presence. Nothing is more important. I’ve been learning that a lot as I have had no energy level this whole month and as I’ve been laying in this hospital bed. I knew from the moment I got home from a walk-in clinic with a bronchitis diagnosis that this was going to be a long journey. So here we are, and my constant prayer is that I’m not seen, but He is. And He has been answering that prayer and will continue to. I’ve gotten to see some of the best doctors/residents/medical students/nurses in the US, who truly care about me and want to get to the bottom of whatever this is. I’ve been able to literally see and hear God use me even in weakness. I’ve been able to see His strength be made perfect in me. I’ve been able to smile, even with battle bruised arms from countless sticks for blood, because He is in me and all around me and doing amazing things!
How did all this happen? Many would blame it on bad luck or just the hand that life dealt or the ball it threw at me or the lemons it handed me. I would have to disagree. God has allowed this path for His glory. Period. It looks dark and narrow, but that is what He calls us to. It’s not supposed to be easy. Does He want to harm or hurt us? No! His plans are ALWAYS good, because His nature is good. It would be against His nature to do anything not good to His children. And He has already shown the good to me, and I hope and pray that everyone who hears of all of this is seeing the good as well.
His plans are better. Another lesson I’m learning is just to stop planning. Passion also reminded me of “divine interruptions” that I have been hindering by my type-A-ness. So, I’ll leave with a verse from James 4, verses 13-17.
“Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit”—yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, “If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogance. All such boasting is evil. So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.”
God is definitely using you!